His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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