if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
