he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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