I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She just used a chaser for red wine.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
