I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
