You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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