im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
