Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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