Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
