Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
