i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
