I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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