You smell like a Billy Joel song
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
