Yo dont text me then not text me
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
