this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Too much gin, very little bucket
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
