I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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