Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
