I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
