Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
