all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
