Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
