I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It all started with a game of naked twister.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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