that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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