Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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