I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
