Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
