my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
