At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
