Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
