Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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