ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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