Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
