I need help removing her.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
