That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
