google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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