happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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