it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
