Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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