Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
