I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
