I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
