I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We talked him into tasing himself.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
