On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
