I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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