Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Swine flu is the new snow day.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
