dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
In America we eat man semen.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
