i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
