He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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