oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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