It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize