I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
