FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
