Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize