You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
