Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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