All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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