I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
