and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
