you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
