yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
