I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
