the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize