thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
